Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Myth O’ Show!


You Must Remember Myth

From "Sita Sings the Blues," a film by Nina Paley. Public Domain.

My friend Rina (see previous posts), an avid pop culture fan akin to your Miss O’, sees everywhere a Seinfeld episode whenever she visits me in New York. She started watching Seinfeld when she moved to Vancouver in 2008 to begin work on her Ph.D., and this show opened up New York City (and, thus, America) to her . This is important, because she comes to New York frequently to conduct interviews at and around the United Nations as part of her research. (Her subject is R2P: Responsibility to Protect, and she trains a Marxist lens on her discoveries, because just as feminist Shulie Alexander taught us that the personal is always political, so Marx demonstrated that the political is always the economic; this last part is fairly new, and what I realized in talking to Rina is that America’s democracy and its liberal-capitalist economy are one in the same; nations around the world trying to imitate our democratic ideals soon realize that the price for American-style democracy is, along with a flag in every pot: a history of low wages for workers, disastrous air quality, traffic congestion, long lines to vote, voter suppression, a military industrial complex, class warfare, and racial segregation, and weekly radio news quizzes about Kardashians.) (And now in the midst of the Syrian crisis, President Obama sees the U.S. role to take a military stand—a responsibility to protect civilians—against the violation of international law, Syria’s President Assad’s use of chemical weapons on his own people. To this Miss O’ must remark that the U.S. violated international law with the return to torture during the Iraq War, and no one invaded us, though surely they had every right.) God where was I?)

So to communicate our artistic sides, our spiritual lives, if you will, Rina and I communicate via music and the movies, and in addition Rina fills me in on Indian mythology. These myths offer helpful shorthand for any understanding of Indian culture, but first you have to know the intricacies of the longhand version. To help you better understand what I mean, I will remind you of my experience with learning iconography, which is found in illuminated manuscripts of the Middle Ages. As my Chaucer prof, Dr. Fleming, explained on the board, small pictures fill in for whole worlds. He drew this:

Miss O's rendering of iconic art by J.V. Fleming

Without hesitation, I raised my little graduate student hand and declared, “Oh, that’s George Washington and the cherry tree.” Everyone in the class just stared at me. Here is one of many moments when I would realize that in America we might in fact not have a really common mythology because it’s a big fucking country, full of landscapes, histories, and languages. And brands of beer. “Miss O’Hara, perhaps you would care to explain,” Mr. Fleming said, and I retold the Parson Weems tale of how little George “could not tell a lie,” and admitted to chopping down one of his father’s cherry trees. I also explained (so they didn’t think I was crazy for knowing this) that Parson Weems has a museum dedicated to him in the Virginia town next over from my hometown, and that I grew up about ten miles from Mount Vernon. In other words, George Washington was part of my mythology. (When my California friend Anna saw Mount Vernon for the first time, she turned to me and said, “I thought this was just a myth.”) Fleming’s point was that the alert reader of a medieval manuscript would at a glance see whole, long stories in the pretty little icons that adorned the margins of the text, thereby allowing the copying monks to add a lot of information without having to write so much. But this only works as long as we are all living on the same stories: our cultural shorthand.

Rama and Sita, from Google Images.

Rina, in order to fill me in on most any Indian perspective or even relate an anecdote, has to tell me about the gods and goddesses of the Hindu mythologies. For example, she began telling me about her niece, who is now six, and who likes to create her stories live. She assigns roles to members of the family, including her grandmother. It was here Rina realized she would have to tell me the story of the god Rama, but suffice to say he is the big god (the seventh incarnation of Vishnu) to whom everyone prays. When you are in pain, you say (and I’m guessing at the spellings), “Hi, Ram,” which is shorthand for, “Please, God, release me from all this pain.” When you want something joyful, you say, “Hey, Ram,” which is shorthand for, “Oh, God, it would be so awesome if this wonderful thing happened.” Every time Rina's mother gets up from the couch, she groans, "Hi, Ram." When she gets up from bed, or gets into bed, or walks to get tea, she says, "Hi, Ram." So in the drama that Rina’s little niece was creating, she needed her old grandmother to play someone spry, apparently, because she admonished, “And Nana you must NOT say ‘Hi, Ram’!” Here Rina giggled her musical giggle. “She knows what the expression means, even though she does not know Rama,” Rina said. And we marveled at what kids pick up on, even these complex cultural reference points. Hey, Ram!

So Seinfeld, for me and for Rina, is social shorthand, as it has become for the many, many fans of this show. All we have to say, in the (in)appropriate moment, is “close talker,” or “going commando,” or “worlds are colliding,” or “he took it out,” and in one phrase an otherwise inexplicable or detestable social encounter (that we have witnessed or experienced) is grounded. (I can't tell you how funny it is to hear Rina's musical Indian voice intone, "He double-dipped a chip.") For my friends who came of age in the 1960s, it is music mythology that creates the links, that defines the decade—The Kingston Trio (for my friend Pat), to Bob Dylan, to the Beatles, to the Rolling Stones—and as my friend Lynda says, “I miss listening to music the way we used to do—someone would buy the album, and we’d all sit around listening to it, talking about it….” The playing of a song connects many people to a time of life, especially, I think, to adolescence. Beyond the experience of the music itself is a transcendent thing, a deep connection to each other, the music: the world comes into us through those chords. That, and memories of somehow doing it in the back seat of a Pinto.

For my parents (and thus for me, and for Rina, too) it was Hollywood Mythology that gave them the framework of their lives, even more than catechism: The “true” stories of our history became theater fare: the Wild West of America—our original mythology of cowboys and Indians; a nation founded in whole cloth by people who were not “from” there—is unlike everything else on Earth, and also a horror movie to the native peoples of the land (which is too often mythologized in the worst sense in the movies); the war stories, the love stories, the adventure stories; the Civil War of Gone With the Wind can be an obsessively-held link to the past for the American South, forming its own kind of mythos, for good or ill; Prohibition-era gangsters who made American headlines were later mythologized in movies such as White Heat. But as Karen Armstrong points out in A Short History of Myth, ultimately these renderings of life are not useful as “mythology” in the truest sense, because the movies do not help us, other than as an escape from reality. Unless we have a story that connects us to nature—to the sky, the trees, and the animals; to the water and the earth, and all the creatures and plants that live there—in other words, to the elements we depend upon for our human survival—a mythology cannot last. Cities are temporary. Movies last for ninety minutes.

Am I Mything Something?

So what does it mean, all this movie reel, musical, militaristic noise across this pop culture cluster-fuck of a planet? After a few weeks of Rina, I always feel challenged and enlightened, but also really sure I know absolutely nothing about anything, including my own story.

To better enter into the Hindu stuff of Rina’s life, I was lucky enough to find this wonderful indie movie called Sita Sings the Blues, shared in the Public Domain, freely and dearly, by the filmmaker and animator Nina Paley. I place the link before you:

Sita Sings the Blues by Nina Paley

But for those times of intellectual and spiritual crisis when even Casablanca can’t help me, I turn, as I so often do, to religious writer Karen Armstrong, author of (among many great books) A Short History of Myth: “Human beings have always been mythmakers,” begins the book, in its first chapter, “What is a Myth?” (Miss O’ has noticed that the word myth is generally used to mean an untruth, and this is a shame. So many awesome concepts have been shrunk to app-size.) Neanderthal graves, she explains, show care taken at the burial—death was acknowledged as significant, and an afterlife was imagined. “We are meaning-making creatures,” Armstrong summarizes, and then goes on to aptly point out what is rather startling when one thinks about it:

“Another peculiar characteristic of the human mind is its ability to have ideas and experiences that we cannot explain rationally. We have imagination, a faculty that enables us to think of something that is not immediately present, and that, when we first conceive it, has not objective existence. The imagination is the faculty that produces religion and mythology. Today mythology has fallen into disrepute; we often dismiss it as irrational and self-indulgent. But the imagination is also the faculty that has enabled scientists to bring new knowledge to light and to invent technology that has made us immeasurably more effective.” She concludes, “Like science and technology, mythology, as we shall see, is not about opting out of this world, but about enabling us to live more intensely within it.”  ~A Short History of Myth

What Armstrong points out is that first and foremost, myth is “nearly always rooted in the experience of death and the fear of extinction.” I would argue that science is probably rooted in this, too. And art. And surely the movies.

Our world is awash in followers of mini-mythologies—as seen by the evolution of The Fan: movie maniacs, avid comic book readers, Star Trek conventioneers, Old Time Radio aficionados, Harry Potter enthusiasts, sports fiends of all-colored tee shirts, gossip magazine gorgers, zombie apocalypse hopefuls, Ren Faire cosplayers: There is a special mythology (sometimes "lived" as an alternate reality, like the kids who try to be vampires) for anyone who seeks. It’s really impressive how many subcultures the world offers us. Years ago a series of books came out called Choose Your Own Adventure, wherein the reader had to make plot decisions at pivotal moments in the story.  From the Wiki:

Choose Your Own Adventure is a series of children's gamebooks where each story is written from a second-person point of view, with the reader assuming the role of the protagonist and making choices that determine the main character's actions and the plot's outcome.

If you choose A, “You run,” for example, you turned to page 24; if you choose B, “You stay and fight,” you turned to page 26—something like that. I remember finding these books kind of annoying, but the series remains popular. The word “gamebooks” is the key: These books are not really about reading, but instead might lure game-lovers into reading—that seems to be the idea. Somewhere in our collective storytelling, "myths" became games, entertainments, diversions. Why did we lose our sense of, our need to tell, the long story of the people?

Of Myth and Men
                                                                                                 
I asked a poet friend, “Do you think about Death?” (I capitalize it because I meant it as a natural fact and as a concept.) She looked briefly puzzled, and then said simply, “No.” Possibly that is the secret to living most perfectly: To experience the now of nature, love, food, home, friends, without a care as to the endings of anything. Miss O’ does not, obviously, live so sweetly. I think about death and loss all the goddamned time. I think about legacies, stories, continuance—what happens after death, in terms of life on Earth. I don’t necessarily think about the soul, per se, or what happens after death. I do, however, think about death and dying, think about those losses. And where does it get me?

So for this poet friend, art is rooted in life lived now, not in the experience of death or fear of extinction. So then I ask, “Why create?” My friend Colleen went to Chicago’s Art Institute on a recent vacation and brought me back a button that said, “I am therefore I write.” Most days it has to be enough.

In the Myth of the Beast

I am asking these questions lately, about death and what that means, and living and what that means, because I am so nauseated by politics. For one as political as Miss O’ is, that is saying something. On a popular social network, I posted a satirical article by Andy Borowitz, “G20Ends Abruptly as Obama Calls Putin a Jackass.”

This article posting disturbed my friend Judy (poet Judith Christian), who wrote:

JUDY: I was just thinking that... I'd like to hear Pres O say Jackass. But lately I'm thinking that all the news satire entertainment has become an outlet for what the public should really feel and express, which is anger and outrage. I mean, once again we are being entertained away from thought and action. It's an American disease.

[LO: I think of it as wish fulfillment. Oh, sure. You are not wrong. I think the day that Jon Stewart went on (and brought down) the show "Crossfire" said it all: The "real news" shows have to stop being dicks, stop misinforming, stop being lousy at what they do. I will never hold Andy Borowitz or Stewart or Colbert to that standard. I won't direct my outrage at the comedians, or the writers, or the artists. I direct it at those people who should be our protectors: our press and our politicians.]

JUDY: We have the tools now to bypass the press... or start our own press, etc. I didn't mean we should direct outrage at the comedians or writers; I meant that the comedy might just be another infotainment distraction. It's cathartic, but it contributes to our passivity, I think. But who knows.... maybe it's the only "real" news we get from media.
I still say political comedy/satire is not a substitute for political action, and my point is that because it is so popular now, some people are entertained into thinking it actually does something. It doesn't. I reinforces people's indignation, and MAYBE motivates them, but because of its very essence, which is entertainment--I mean TV, not political cartoons or live interaction--it is a distraction from action. And because it has become a big part of American pop culture, it has helped weaken print journalism.
Also, I think the Occupy Movement did a pretty good job of usurping the press and media. Also, Benjamin Franklin put out a pretty good rag in his time. I'm "thinking out loud" here, trying to solve what I think is a problem, so it's not necessary to overreact, for crying out loud.

JUDY: sorry... what I'm trying to say is "the revolution will not be televised" (Colbert, Stewart). Thank you for your patience.

[No apology necessary—we write because we care, or, as the button Colleen brought me says, I am therefore I write.]

Hit and Myth

Oddly, this exchange brought Miss O’ back to the role of myth: In our culture today, the story we seem to be telling each other about our world is all back-asswards: The “legitimate news organizations” are not so much about truth as posture, like that kid there with the iThingy, stooped, staring intently into a small glass screen, over which passes a rapidly moving thumb—there’s a lot of “outrage” and very little substantive action, and a near-total denial of the natural world and human effects on it (or it on us). In the realms of art, including comedy shows, we find our most accurate assessments of the news of the day, the state of the union, the touchstones of popular culture and feeling. Political satire has ever been part of developed civilizations, societies and settlements creating a need for politics, negotiations, rules. (Libertarians and conservatives often want no governmental rules (except, weirdly, on personal choices like sex and reproduction). If anyone wants to find out, in a fairly safe microcosm, what happens when you announce, “There are no rules here,” say that to a typical public high school English class when you are in the capacity of substitute teacher.) By the same token, here is one cartoonist's take on the two American political parties:


What A Short History of Myth makes clear is that societies need and have ever needed stories that show us rules for living. What mythologist Joseph Campbell’s Power of Myth conversations explore (another book I turn to) is how mythologies have to grow, change, and evolve as humans do in order to remain relevant and, more important, useful. He also makes clear that we not only have to have tolerance for each other’s myths, we should know and understand these various myths. Everyone has a story, a mythology, that resonates, but one thing all myths have in common is they include an act of disobedience: “Now God must have known very well that man was going to eat the forbidden fruit,” Campbell points out. "But it was by doing that that man became the initiator in his own life. Life really began with that act of disobedience.”

There She Is, Myth America

The tension between obedience and disobedience is apparent in politics. Obedience, as writer Howard Zinn pointed out, is often the greatest obstacle to creating social justice.

“Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders…and millions have been killed because of this obedience…Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves… (and) the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.”
~Howard Zinn, The Zinn Reader, 1970

“Protest beyond the law is not a departure from democracy; it is absolutely essential to it.” ~Howard Zinn, too

What the myths of our history help humans to weigh are the reasons to obey and the reasons to disobey. This is an inward journey, as Campbell points out: “One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light.” The thing is, and why Miss O’ is on and on about this today—stuff that for many readers must smack of “Duh,” (and as my friend Rina said of her dissertation on R2P back there, “What am I adding to the conversation? What new lens have I to offer?”)—is that sick feeling I mentioned, one that Judy articulated so well, is that “infotainment” is being used as a substitute for political action. Miss O’ takes it a step further: Instead of “the long story of the people,” we are fractured into often inchoate sound bites of our own choosing, and it's sickening our spirits. When President Obama was running for his first election, he was bold enough to say that Americans who felt economically distressed often “cling to guns or religion.” He was castigated for it, as people so often are who speak the truth. The Wild West mythology, the Civil War mythology, the Revolutionary War mythology: Our nation was built by guns. It’s powered by guns. Even after Newtown, people choose the freedom to own guns over the freedom to vote. Still with the guns? That’s frankly insane—and an example of mythology gone off the rails.

Bureau of Mything Persons
This Month: Joseph Campbell, Karen Armstrong, John Berger, the Beatles, and Seamus Heaney 


That it is time to change our mythology is not yet clear to too many Americans, nor to too many humans all over the world. We have to evolve past the violence mythos (and in some ways we have, says philosopher Stephen Pinker), for as every news story shows us, as all our history shows us, it is love, not war, that is the path out of fear and pain. It's tragic that this rings of "peacenik" cliché. Love of nature, love of one another, love of possibility. Jesus saw this. Buddha saw this. Love isn't ALL you need. You need food, air, water. As for religion as it is practiced, Campbell and Armstrong point out that stories and rituals sustain us as much as food—and people need to be able to keep their stories; what Obama was pointing out is that too often the story in the religion—the life-sustaining mythos of what it means to be human—is lost in dogma, politics, and fearful clinging. Karen Armstrong also takes pains to point out that to try to turn mythos into scientific fact is to lose the value of the myth—to lose the metaphor, the path to a better humanity.

Anais Nin by Debbie Millman


Artists are always searching for the line that connects mythos to life lived. My comment to Judy (who is a wonderful poet) about blaming the comedians has to do with the quickness with which governments and the citizens shoot the messengers—when in fear, string up the artists, the writers, the healers! (Blame Obamacare!) In his novel A Painter of Our Time, John Berger’s artist narrator is a Communist artist who is forced into exile in England, and who to the end seems to doubt that art is as important as politics—almost seems to understand why the artists are killed. (I don't see how that could be Berger’s view (the novel was written in 1958), but I smelled “self hatred” from the page, the blame we begin to assign to our own talents as we begin to identify with our detractors.) To take another example, when John Lennon said that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus, Christians all over the world wanted him killed. Literally killed. In response to that reaction, and also to people’s dislike of his choice of wife, he wrote what may be my favorite of his songs, “The Ballad of John and Yoko”:

Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.

I love Lennon's up-tempo, happy approach to the prospect of crucifixion for simply being true to himself and his love. (Not unlike Jesus, when you think about it.) He’s in the world, of the world, but he is aware that changing the story (in this case the mythos of the Beatles) ain’t gonna be easy. He’s growing—and the fans will have to grow, too, if they want to keep following along.

Politics cannot be the story of what it means to be. It is one of Miss O’s most deeply unattractive qualities that she spends so much time enmeshed in the issues of the day, and not trying to contribute more beauty to the world around her. I am, obviously, working on this, though too often this work becomes like another plan to drop 20 pounds and give up Scotch.

“I think of mythology as the homeland of the muses, the inspirers of art, the inspirers of poetry. To see life as a poem and yourself participating in a poem is what the myth does for you…. I mean a vocabulary in the form not of words but of acts and adventures, which connotes something transcendent of the action here, so that you always feel in accord with the universal being.”
~Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

Campbell quotes the Chinese text, Tao-de Ching: “He who thinks he knows, doesn’t know. He who knows that he doesn’t know, knows. For in this context, to know is not to know. And not to know is to know.”

Bill Moyers, in conversation with Campbell in this book (based on a PBS series), says, in terms of his own Christianity, “Far from undermining my faith, your work in mythology as liberated my faith from the cultural prisons to which it had been sentenced.”

Poets aid us at these times of necessary transition. The great poet Seamus Heaney, who died this week, only 74, was featured on the delightful site BrainPickings by Maria Popova, who wrote a terrific piece about this Irish Nobel laureate. Popova quotes Heaney’s Nobel acceptance speech, and this paragraph resonated for me. Heaney reads from Homer:

“At the sight of the man panting and dying there,
 she slips down to enfold him, crying out;
 then feels the spears, prodding her back and shoulders,
 and goes bound into slavery and grief.
 Piteous weeping wears away her cheeks: 
but no more piteous than Odysseus’ tears,
 cloaked as they were, now, from the company.”

But only after reading Heaney’s comment upon that passage (below), and after I’d reread the Homer, did I feel what I was supposed to feel. So much of life now is rushed by, glanced at, and that’s what I’d done with those words:

Even to-day, three thousand years later, as we channel-surf over so much live coverage of contemporary savagery, highly informed but nevertheless in danger of growing immune, familiar to the point of overfamiliarity with old newsreels of the concentration camp and the gulag, Homer’s image can still bring us to our senses. The callousness of those spear shafts on the woman’s back and shoulders survives time and translation. The image has that documentary adequacy which answers all that we know about the intolerable.


I also had to do hard rereading because (unlike the effect these texts had on my brother Mike) the Greek myths never "spoke to me," in the way, say, movie musicals did. But here is the point: Like great poems, religious texts—those of all mythologies—are meant to be read and understood metaphorically. Without metaphor, there can be no transcendence. The words are dead on the page, in the air: the words are allowed no journey through your mind, your heart, your own experience. To live this way with any religion is akin to reading and shouting opinions about politics, but never voting; to memorizing historical dates and holidays, but having no understanding of the events the dates commemorate; or to seeing the paint on the canvas but not the picture the paints made, let alone connecting to the feelings the paints are meant to express.

I take this further: If you see the plant and animal life around you as “weeds” or “pests,” or if you have no idea what is edible or inedible, for example—if you are totally removed from the meaning behind the life form—you cannot be living with fullness or understanding of much of anything—political, artistic, religious, or plain old biological.

And this brings me back to myths, to stories. Think about the Beatles: The reason they stopped touring, my friend George explained, was because the fans were screaming so loudly the entire time, the members of the band couldn’t hear themselves play. If the Beatles aren’t playing music to be experienced by the audience, why are they up on stage at all? Just so, doesn't the message of Jesus get "lost" in the screaming of the fanatics (which is where the word fan comes from, after all)?

My world, of course, is the theater. A while back I attended a reading of one of my friend Michael’s plays, and he introduced me to a director friend standing there in the ticket line. (I’ve mentioned this story before, but the stories of my life are really metaphors, and each story helps tie the O’Mythos together. Ahem.) Michael said, “Lisa writes the most fantastic stage directions in her plays,” to which the director said, “Well that’s a waste of writing, isn’t it, because directors just take a black marker to that.” To this Miss O’ said, “I’d never work with a director who did that to my work. I don’t write ‘stage directions’ in the sense of ‘picks up coffee cup, drinks,’ but rather I write actions in silence. I can’t be bothered with directors who think life on the stage occurs only in the dialogue.” He looked furious—he walked silently past me with his ticket. (The only reading of a play of mine here in NYC was assigned to a director who did that to my work, and it was no longer my play—not remotely.) This man was a working director, which is not to say a good director, so I really hope I made him think.

All the Right Myths

I think a lot of our spiritual unrest and our political divides are tied to the inability to experience silence. Live theater is a misery of wrappers and cell phones. Houses of worship aren’t much different. Musicians no longer play to people but to thousands of little blue lights, the signal of phone recordings. We can’t come to a collective story, or transcend the muck of mindless human inhabitants, on this planet of iBabel.

To take a tiny example: How impossible it is to write when other people are in a house—when I had my little library in Virginia and could shut the door and know I would not be needed or disturbed, I could have truly sacred time (even with a roommate); but when I had work being done on the house, people around, intruders who might hear me talking to myself through the windows, I could not work. I have a friend with a gorgeous home he shares only with his mate and two dogs, but even he had to build a small writer’s cabin so the demands of the home, the dogs, and the relationship did not intrude on his sacred work time. My New York apartment affords no space in my bedroom to work, so I use the living room. It’s okay when I’m alone, if not ideal: I am too aware of the kitchen. Very often, though, guests or roommates of any kind do not understand my need for solitude. Rina understands perfectly, intellectually, and yet cannot help but interrupt, make phone calls, prepare food, or say, “I do not wish to disturb you, but…” and the solitude is over. A month passed this way, not unhappily, in her company, and still it took me two weeks to recover from human presence to write even a paragraph of a new blog.

Cue music. "Hello darkness, my old friend..."

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to check my Facebook page. And my three email accounts. And take a subway ride to Kew Gardens to see how to get to the courthouse for my month of Grand Jury duty, where Miss O’ will be sifting mounds of evidence to help decide which cases in my part of Gotham can go to trial. 

Mostly likely I’ll tell you all about it—when I can find the silence. 






Sunday, August 11, 2013

Miss O’s Summer Travelblogue 2013

On the ferry, photo by Kerry, to San Francisco we go.


 I'm Goin’ Up the Country (Baby Don’t You Wanna Go?)

You know how you finally get four weeks of paid vacation after working for your company after nearly a decade, and how you get a destination wedding invitation from a beloved former student and you think, “I could finally see the Loire Valley in France, which I’ve dreamed of doing since we studied that region in Madam Watts’s French III class in high school,” and so you ask your travel-mad cousin Kerry in California to go with you, and she says yes, and then she realizes she can’t afford it this year, and so you think maybe you could take a couple of weeks and go to San Francisco, and you learn that July is maybe the prettiest month for the Napa Valley, where Kerry lives, and if you do that you could also see your friend Anna from graduate school whom you haven't seen since maybe 1999, since it turns out she also lives (when she's not teaching overseas) not far from San Francisco? So it’s like that. And thus this Travelblogue of Pacific Coast Wonders. Join me!

We interrupt this blog: This will have to be quick, because I no sooner got back than my friend Rina, a political scholar from India (see 2012’s Memorial Day blog, “The Only Living Girl in New York”) arrived to conduct more interviews at the U.N., and as my readers know, this means hours of nonstop talk about everything from world politics to the climate to our friends to what an erect penis actually looks like to why it is we manage to make so much compost in a week. Whew! 

Rina Arrives from New Delhi, August 3, 2013
Last night (which was three o’clock this morning), as we were finally turning off the lights in the kitchen, our water poured, and all that was left was to make it to our rooms…(oh, sleep), Rina asked, “Leeza, have you read Antigone?” Yes… “What did you think of it?” And I looked at her. “It’s 3 in the morning, what do I think of Antigone?” She was crestfallen, so I told her what I thought, and out of that came this revelation: My directing professor in college, Maureen, asked on an exam, “Is Antigone is the agent or the victim of her tragedy?” and I had realized in that moment she was BOTH. And as I explained this to Rina, I realized this: Where there is no agency, there is no tragedy: There is only horror. (Gnaw on that until next time.)

Meanwhile and herewith a recounting, in brief, along with some photos and impressions of my journey, should you be a person who likes to read about other people's trips. I am actually struggling to write a travelblogue (as I call it) because I don’t really enjoy reading travel writing (unless it's by my friends). I am not, naturally, a traveler. I am an observer. Plus, travel is HARD. Anne Morrow Lindbergh says in her book about going to a summer beach house with her sisters, Gift from the Sea:

“Is there anything as horrible as starting on a trip? Once you’re off, that’s all right, but the last moments are earthquake and convulsion, and the feeling that you are a snail being pulled off your rock.”

That’s pretty much it for me.  I thought briefly about doing it up in iambic pentameter, this tale, and got this far before I realized it was hopeless:

On Air Train, via 7 Train and E
Did Miss O’s summer tour thus take wing.
From Queens apartment thence to Kennedy,
A Delta flight turned summer temps to spring!

Strained rhymes aside, what have you really learned in those syllables? Readers hardly look for the weather report (which was 55 degrees at night, 75 degrees by mid-day; overcast “fog” each morning, burning off to bright skies and low humidity each and every day of the nine, if you must know); nor is this a “how to get to Kennedy Airport” guidebook.

I travel for one of two reasons: to study, or to see friends. If I am not doing one of those two things, I can’t manage to see a point in traveling. At least, I cannot motivate myself to do it without one of those intentions. Beyond that, I don’t have an agenda, except to be of wherever it is. Here’s what I love best about leaving my old world behind, though: My brain immediately stops working. I stop thinking, I mean. It’s the closest I can get to Zen, or to what I think Zen must be: I am. I have eyes, ears, various sensations, and aside from the part of my brain devoted to itineraries and protocols, I am reduced to flesh (ample, too-soft flesh), burdened with a purse, backpack, and hat, that moves from one mode of transport to the next, empty of all ideas. It’s so restful.

Miss O’, as friends and readers know, is nothing if not a swirling, whirling HEAD. To experience me as a traveler is to cease to recognize me. I inherited this ability to switch to “off” from my dad, Bernie, who is like a cartoon superhero when cooking, cleaning, landscaping, or doing any other kind of work. When he finally retired at age 62, everyone said he’d never be able to stand it. “Watch me,” my dad said. And no one can rest like Bernie—and that he manages to do this while never being lazy, is the feat I’d like to think I also accomplish. He can relax more quickly than anyone I know—but where he and I differ is that he can relax in his own home, which I cannot do. In order for me to truly rest, I have to leave and go off somewhere. The place needs to be shared with people who are controlling my destiny—who make the plans, suggest the activities, or otherwise take the reins.

And so it was in California. The last time I’d been here was 1988, when I’d driven cross-country in my blue pick-up truck, Barbara, the summer after my first year of teaching (my first non-working summer break since I was 14), joined by my brave friend Debbie. I hadn’t liked California at all—dry, alien, far too much sky, too much sun, too lacking in edge, and too much traffic as I headed to L.A. I felt so “wrong” in that landscape, I doubted I’d return. (Now New Mexico, on the other hand, held me, energized me, made my eyes and arms go wide, but that’s another tale.) Yet here I was, going there again.

Anna and Michael, Santa Cruz, July 15 to July 18, 2013

Anna and Michael, celebrating 31 years of marriage
at Main Street Garden Cafe in Soquel, CA
We had no plan. Anna and Michael, who have taught overseas for over 20 years, have no cell phone. How will they know where to find me? Plane landed early, and I walked to “Arrivals” (I had no baggage to claim—travel light, I say), stood out on the sidewalk beside the “pick-up” road, and figured they’d find me. They did. Anna, one of my dearest friends from my graduate school days, just screamed when I tilted my head as their Michael-driven truck slowed along to where I was. Sometimes you just have to use The Force. We could not stop laughing. Michael just grinned, and I sat up front, and off we went from one SFO ramp to the next and out and along and finally turned up hills and across their memories onto Hwy 1 along the Pacific Coast.

Highway 1 in California, San Mateo or Santa Cruz County.

Grasses, succulents, live oaks, hills bigger than Appalachian Mountains, an ocean the bluest I’ve ever seen, wind, clean air—the cleanest I’ve breathed, I learned as we made our way across the border of San Mateo County into the County of Santa Cruz, where the air quality is said to be the best in the state, if not the nation, and I put my head out the window and inhaled deeply. “The cleanest I’ve breathed,” I assured them; “I felt that change.”

Eat here. Get all the soups. And the pies.
Our first stop was along the ocean, where after looking out to the vista, I looked down and saw a discarded greenish-black lace-up bustier, which we speculated on and didn’t photograph. Best not to inquire. I am on vacation, after all. But suddenly this staggering landscape became a David Lynch movie.

Thence to our next stop, Pescadero, a tiny old-West town, for lunch at Duarte’s. Thus began the best food experiences of my traveling life. Best drives, best talk, best eating, best alien experience by an Easterner in this landscape. Here are some photos of the time there, but how to render the walks into the hills, among the redwoods, the long talks with Anna about writing, living in our places, who we’ve become in the last decade, how we relate to our work now—the quiet of the mornings I enjoyed in all this green and brown?

Anna Happy with Redwood
The second day I was there, Michael worked with some landscapers to continue the lifting of tons of rock to place in a retaining wall and walkways (the main house, which they are renovating so they can rent it out—they’ve been living in a smaller, lighter guest house on the property), as Anna and I went walking and talking; that evening he and Anna went out back to relax in their outdoor hot tub. Miss O’ does not do hot tubs, pools, or other things which require the wearing of limited clothing in front of other people. I adjourned to the fading director’s chair on their front porch as they headed out back. Soon I heard in 
a joint big voice, this happy voice, “O Sole Mio,” other songs I don’t know, closing with a gospel call and response song, “I’m Amazed,” and it was about the most joyous concert I’ve attended. When they came inside, we shared songs with each other via YouTube, singing and singing—opera, blues, whatever moved us. To sit in a kitchen singing with friends is underrated beyond the way of words to express.


We must sing more. We must dance more. We must enjoy every dish we eat more. Every meal Anna and Michael cooked for me began with oil, a red onion, garlic, peppers, and mushrooms. Wine flowed. Tea was served. We saw stuff, and I could tell you about that, but it was the BEING WITH that mattered. It was like living three days out in joyful prayer. And that includes the impromptu visit to The Flying Crane massage parlor for hour-long foot massages that also included head, arms, legs, shoulders and back while your feet soaked in hot salted water (and between my revulsion of being touched, Michael’s tender rock-sore arms, and Anna’s injured back, we passed mutual empathy among ourselves, and laughed about this in the car—a weak laugh, as we had been reduced to puddles of flaccid tissue.) Then we went out to eat. Oh, food. Oh, wine. Oh, friends.


Thank you, Michael. Thank you, Anna. LOVE is so reviving.


Cruising to The V with Kerry and Trudi (The Trip, Part 2: July 18 to 23)

The Transition begins: The morning of the 18th began like all those other perfect California mornings, and yet my energy was no longer in “rest” and “sink in” modes, but now “anticipation” and “caretaking” gear, anticipating my cousin Kerry (the driver) and her little sister Trudi (riding shotgun with a box of Dramamine) and hoping their two-hour trek to pick me up at the cul-de-sac ending on this curving country road was incident-free. These are grown MOMS, for Pete’s sake, and Kerry is a born traveler. They arrived around noon looking festive and happy to be there. It’s always interesting when, as Seinfeld’s George Costanza said, “Worlds are colliding!” Here they are!

Cousins Trudi and Kerry flanked by Michael and Anna
Santa Cruz kitchen
Last-minute photos and off we went into the wilds and Kerry remembered all her turns into Santa Cruz. Back to Hwy 1, which I recognized. If something looked pretty, Kerry said, “Let’s pull over!” And we pulled over for views, to walk the shore, to pick up organic strawberries from a roadside stand, to visit Pigeon Point Lighthouse, and thence to a town called Half Moon Bay to walk and take our late lunch at a restaurant attached to a hotel called The Inn. Possibly the best carbonara I’ve ever had. And great wine. Oh! And off to Vallejo! But first…






On the road again, Kerry got a text from her niece, Katie, who is married to Rob, and they live in the vicinity of Willow Glen, where we traveled for dinner at a great Greek place called Opa, joining them and my cousin Doc (Katie’s dad) and his younger son, Sean. So I met all these new people, learned about Katie’s pregnancy, and was brought into this branch of the O’Hara fold, when I’d only known Katie via Facebook.

Kerry, Trudi, and Doc (the oldest, along with Dave, Bernie, and Brian) are the children of my Uncle Don, my dad Bernie’s older brother. And here is the sad confluence of events: When Kerry couldn’t go to France, she didn’t know that her father would be entering hospice, would decline quickly, and would die only the week before I was to arrive. By a coincidence of my trip’s planning, I was with Anna and Michael first, and then with the O’Haras, because my Uncle Don’s memorial was to be Sunday, July 21. It was like we’d planned it or something—so very strange. (The same thing happened two years ago with my Aunt Mary, when she died two days before I was to visit her, and I was able to attend the masses and funeral instead. Miss O’ is a kind of family emissary; as Kerry said, “You will represent, as we say in The V.”) (“The V” is Vallejo, and her area is dicey and gang-strangled—“Lisa, I have to warn you, I live in the ghetto”—so I took the nickname as a way of making it homey, as it were. Yo.)

So back in The V, we dropped Trudi at her house and headed home to their sweet, very small house, greeted by five dogs, a sleepy husband (thanks, Herb!), and no kids (who were away for another day and half at Bible camp). I settled into my lovely room, and brushed my teeth in the brand new bathroom that Herb had completed (“Lisa, I can’t thank you enough. We’ve been brushing our teeth in the bathtub for six months. Yesterday Herb called me and asked, ‘When is your cousin coming?’ and I said, “Um, TOMORROW,’ and Herb took the day off to do it”), and Kerry came in and we just looked at it—really gorgeous, including the new round sink placed into a cut-out old table—beautiful. (On Saturday, when Christian and Sammy came home, I saw them in the bathroom, where Christian was turning the sink faucet on and off in a very sweet awe, impressive for a senior in high school to be so appreciative.)

So FRIDAY was all ours, and Napa it was!

Napa Valley Dreamin’



Photos surely are enough: Trudi’s husband Victor and oldest child, Cecilia, made us a tour group, and they were perfect to be with. Ceci took on the role of reluctant anthropologist, learning the ways of insane family members, and Victor was the comic relief and happy-to-be-here non-driving washer-downer of all unfinished glasses. Oh, family! THANK YOU for my day. The Robert Mondavi Vineyard is a class act, and delicious wine. Best wine of the trip: Franciscan Winery reds. The Sterling Winery gives great tour, lousy tasting, but who cares? Our midday repast, al fresco, at V. Sattui was divine. And…home to Trudi’s for supper and hanging out with still more family.







Uncle Don lived in Sonoma, another great wine place, but he had insisted that Kerry give me the Napa Valley tour instead. Thanks so very much, Uncle Don, for thinking of my arrival even in your final weeks, and so glad I could be here for his memorial.

In Memoriam: Donald Arthur O’Hara, 1929-2013

Saturday was a quiet day, preparing food to put in the freezer or fridge, ready to take to Relais du Soleil, a bed and breakfast ranch in Sonoma, the town where Uncle Don had lived with his second wife, Yoli. (His first wife, Irene, (mother of all my cousins here) died of breast cancer in 1987.) I folded laundry and sorted the family socks, surrounded at feet, hips, and back by two Pomeranians (including Roxy the tiniest watch dog), a Boxer named Penny (the most muscular puppy I’ve seen), a poodly mutt named Bailey, and a very old Husky mix who wandered in and out. I'd never have gotten out of my jammies except we were going over to Trudi’s again for dinner, and this is one of the best parts of being with family, isn’t it?

And Sunday was a day of waking kids up, dressing, car-packing, caravanning, unloading, arranging, setting up sound systems, chairs, tables, tents—creating the party that Uncle Don (Poppa O’, as everyone called him) would have wanted, complete with a bar. Grandchildren, step grandchildren, people who’d been halfway raised at the O’Hara house, introduced to me as “other sons” or “other daughters,” so part of the family were they. I couldn’t really feel of it—I’d only met Uncle Don in 1969, again in 1988, once in 1999, and over dinner here in Queens in 2009 (his wife Yoli has a daughter living here, and she is originally from New York)—but it was a privilege to see all this love.

And the stories are legion from my dad’s childhood—Don the storyteller, who could hold the neighborhood kids in a spell of stories he’d make up on the spot; their paper route, their fights, the tiny attic room they shared for 8 years, where Donny, winter or summer, would go to bed in his socks. He always loved clothes, including hats. At the memorial, Kerry and Trudi presented all the grandkids with one of Poppa O's hats (Kerry and I had taped names into them the day before).

Here's your traditional family, America: Steps, halves, wholes, invites;
Mexicans, blacks, whites: I love us. Try on a hat.
My cousin Dave led the singing of the Dan Fogelberg song, “The Leader of the Band,” which is how the kids had come to think of him. What I realized there, in that moment, is how important music is in my family. Whatever formal training we were too poor to afford over generations, we all sing, play the spoons, hear every phrase uttered as a song lyric (“She’s too young,” someone might comment, and we’ll all finish out with the song, “to go steady…”). Brian's band played, too.

My cousins Bernie, Trudi, Kerry, Dave, Doc, and Brian with their dad.
This portrait, taken at a studio when he as in the navy in the 1950's,
was so striking the studio kept it in the window for advertising for years.

Kerry's older son, Corey, with his twin, Poppa O'. Corey is half Mexican,
but Don's mom (my grandma) was a quarter Oglala Sioux, after all, and there's the Irish, of course. 
A living legacy of the leader of the band: I think back now to Anna and Michael and the hot tub serenade; to car rides of songs; to stories of piano bar hopping; to records played on the stereo during my youth. Kerry heard an Irish air on her iPod while driving to pick me up in Santa Cruz: "Lisa, I started ugly crying. It was a song Dad and I heard when we traveled to Ireland. I couldn't stop crying." The friends to whom I’m closest surround themselves with music, make music, think in terms of music., remember their lives in song. It never landed until this trip, how music is home. I blame it on the California wine.

Monday morning, Kerry and I decompressed by taking a 45-minute ferry ride from The V to San Francisco, where we walked from Pier 7 to Pier 39, stopping along the way at the Exploratorium, shops, lunch, the Alcatraz gift shop (which is frankly creepy to contemplate); pausing for me to buy a heaping bag of saltwater taffy to take back to the office; thence back on the ferry for home, to an early sleep after a dinner of curry Kerry made herself. 

Cousin Love in sight of Alcatraz. So right.

That evening after dinner, I chilled, as they say in The V, with Herb, Kerry’s daughter Elisa and her husband Brian, Christian and Sammy and his half sister, Natalie, and the dogs, before bed, and felt so very much at home there I couldn’t believe it.

Tuesday morning, Kerry roused her younger son, Sammy, who is 14, to be our “third” for the HOV lane ride to the SFO Airport, where I got to my gate in plenty of time, flew home and into humidity and back into my life via Air Train and E Train and 7 Train—up and down stairs and through corridors and into the jarring faces of unhappy and tense New Yorkers, so utterly different in energy from their West Coast counterparts I felt I was emerging from that fog on the Bay.

While I was away, my friend Amanda Quaid had filmed sections of her short film, “Dreaming in English,” in my apartment, so the additional stress was discovering the broken cane-bottom chair (“We’re insured! Repair in Progress!”) and other little oddities, but really, you’d almost never know they’d been there—still, I worried a bit about it while away, more as I got nearer to home. How could I return to all this? I WAS NOT READY!

And I didn’t have to…not quite yet.

To the Lake, by George!

Wednesday morning, Quinn called me. “Are you still up for Lake George? Do you want to leave Thursday or wait till Friday?” CAN WE LEAVE NOW? I hope I didn’t sound hysterical.

And so it was, by the grace of Andrew Quinn’s swell folks, Judy and Eddie, that Quinn, Ryan, and Ryan’s dog, Jerry, and I poured into the van Quinn parked outside my building (Ryan had taken the A Train and the 7 Train from Hamilton Heights to my place!) (I think of a kid I heard say, “Do you live in a house or a building?”), and followed the directions out of the city and over the bridges onto the Taconic Parkway and thence to the miracle of Lake George. Let’s say it with pictures: 

Ryan and Quinn unloading for the Lake!
The boys get sun.

Ryan and Jerry sittin' in a tree.

Quinn and his beach read.
Keeping Jerry warm in the morning.
Not only had I missed the NYC summer heat wave, I brought California weather back with me, and it stayed. I loved my friends, I rested deeply, wrote, drank good coffee, cooked, and we all partook of ice cream from Martha’s every day. We spent two full days lakeside. We went to Glens Falls and saw the Georgia O'Keeffe Exhibit of Lake George paintings at the Hyde Collection (where we learned that the Alfred Steiglitz family compound of Victorian mansion, barns, and the shanty where O'Keeffe made her paintings was sold in 1957...and the fire department burned it all down (at the new owners' request) for a training exercise. Needless to say wine was purchased on the way back to the cabin. We did not drink to progress.)

I came back into myself while staring at water, across to mountains.  I wrote. I read. We ate fresh summer fruit. We napped. We made ourselves laugh a lot. (Ryan's giggle word of choice was "queef," a term for a vaginal expulsion of air. We substituted the word for another in various movie titles. I believe Miss O' was the winner with "Queef Encounter.") We didn’t have to return until Monday—and really, even while at work the next week, I wasn’t there.

Lake George view
The Snail Returns

So I'm back in New York, back with the tension, the humans, the commitments, the not-California energy. Notice how I didn’t mention the hellacious cold and cough I had most of my vacation, or the return of my period after months of peri-menopause, or other little complaints? That is because I didn’t really register them—only the wads of Puffs tell the story. Those, and the diminished bag of sanitary napkins. 

But we want the romance of the journey! Wine! Lake! Bay! Song! And it was had. And it was fantastic. The summer's overwhelming emotion? Gratitude. Deep, deep gratitude. I'm singing with it.

Moonrise over the Napa Valley
 Love to all as we put away the memories to return, freshened and invigorated, to the workaday world...

From the Scrapbook
Until next time, with more edge,
Miss O'